The ABC’s of Natalie

I am always snaking these "surveys" from my nieces and nephews...The
surveys target market (and Myspace) is for teenagers but who cares? It's
3:30 am and I can't sleep so I am going to complete this survey come hell or the Rock of Gibraltar.

Here goes nothing:

[A] - available? available to what? I just know this survey was written by some 50
year old teacher trying to get stats on teenagers, Well your out of luck needle dick
because...actually you are in luck because I'm married and had we met I probably
would have just for kicks brought along a camera saying "Do you know your on Dateline?"

[B] - birthday? There you go again you demented freak! If I could say anything to the children on myspace it would be to keep your personal info PRIVATE. Who wants to
end up on a milk carton...or even worse chained up in some sweaty guys basement?
Didn't any of your see Saw? Saw II/ Saw III? Hostel? Daddy Day Camp? Those things could happen.

[C] - crushing? Crushing? so now this demented defect is fantasizing about crushing my skull? Well fuck you you creepy son of a beast! keep your pick axe away!

[D] - last drink you had? toilet water, what's it to your Mr. Nosy Pants? Looking to spike my drink with some GBA { gamma-Hydroxybutyric acid} and have your way? think again! I have a can of Mace with your name on it.

[E] - easiest person to talk to? The voices in my head

[F] - fav. color? coagulated red blood avaulable at Home Depot..and Hot Topic

[G] - gummy bears or gummy worms? Chicklets. Ask a stupid question you get a stupid answer

[H] - hometown? Listen Poindexter turn off your google map, zip up your pants and move on to your next victim. I'm not playing your sick games!

[I] - ill? I'm starting to feel ill, coincidently after I started taking this goddamn survey!

[J]- juggle? does this something to do with your old saggy hairy balls? gross!

[K] - killed someone? depends, give me your name number and address.

[L] - longest car ride? the car was 16 feet long.

[M] - milkshake flavor? vanilla. ice, milk, coffee liquor

[N] -number of siblings? 3 sisters 2 brothers 1 step brother 1 step sister a great step-sister in law and a partridge in a pear tree or something like that

[O] - one wish? That [O] thru [Z] answered themselves

[P] - person you called last? my friend

[Q] - queer? I am no queer, but if lets say, Jodie Foster came on to me I would probably reciprocate and probably even babysit her brats. Mama needs some money and Jodie is looking fine! But I am not a fay-guh.

[R] - reasons to smile? we are at [R] and past the midway point

[S] - song you last heard? "Call my name" by Prince. That man is a fine piece of chocolate

[T] - time you woke up this morning? 1:26 pm-ish

[U] - underwear color? back off Padre! I imagine your undies are all holey and stained and around your ankles. Pull them back up your disgraceful man!

[V] - vegetarian? I flirted with Vegetarianism for a short time and then I got pregnant and didn't want to give birth to a 3 pound gray baby so I started eating meat again. So fuck you PETA, Pamela Anderson, Alicia Silverstone and whatever naked skanks they have posing for them these days.

[W] -worst habit? I was told I snore...yeah right as if. I sleep the sleep of angels. my other worse habit is shopping..and taking a joke to far. (sowwy Your Honorable Percy XhXrXoX (RIP) Those adult magazines were a joke, hope your wife didn't get too upset, I would hope after that you would learn to be a little more courteous to people who are voluntarily testifing in a court case. )

[X] - xray's you had? too many to count and/or remember and might I add a totally stupid question.

[Y] - your number of friends on myspace? lots of unclose and impersonal friends I never met and will never meet but I'm sure will show up at my Vegas Style funeral.

[Z] - zodiac sign? Gemini - dual personalities ones a bitch and the other is a Çüñ†




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