50 of the most random questions ever

originally posted: March 27, 2006

50 of the most random questions ever:

1. Where were you 1 hour ago?
making/burning Mac & cheese

2. When is the last time you filled up your gas tank?
yesterday

3. What is the most amount of money you spent in one store?
Over 3000. for a stupid gigantic TV I don't ever get to watch

4. Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
of course

5. When is the last time you went to the mall?
about a month ago

6. Are you wearing socks right now?
yes

7. Do you have a car worth over $5,000?
yes

8. When was the last time you drove out of town?
a couple of years ago for a wedding

9. Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days?
No

10. Are you popular?
I'm the most famous person you've never heard of.

11. What was the last thing you had to drink?
Black Cherry Vanilla Coke

12. What was the last thing you mailed in the mail?
Netflix (I am boycotting Blockbuster)

13. Do you wash your car?
Hardly ever

14. Last fast food you ate?
burnt Mac & Cheese

15. Where were you last week today?
what is this, a fucking interigation?

16. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?
yes

7. What bank do you use?
hello? Identity theft??? bite me

18. Do you own any land?
yes (the land my house sits on)

19. What do you want to be when you "grow up"?
Super Fly Cracker The Female Pimp

20. Your dream vacation?
Tahiti

21. Last boat ride you went on?
cruise in 99 or 2000 I forget

23. Are you in love?
everyday I look in the mirror

24. Do you have any single friends?
yes

25. Last play you saw?
"Movin' Out" but I preferred "Mama Mia"

26. Have you been to New York?
NO

27. What are your plans for tonight?
finishing this list goddamn it's taking forever

28.Last concert you went to?
I hate crowds. Concerts are for teens

29. Next trip you are going to take?
Where does Shatner live?

30. Ever go to camp?
no my mom was too cheap, which is for the best most camp kids were molested.

31. Were you an honor roll student in school?
"if Natalie spent as much time with her studies as she does entertaining the class she would pass World history" I guess that would make it a No.

32. What is your current GPA?
German Propaganda Archive?? What is this Nazi shit? back to the questions

33. Are you wearing any perfume or cologne?
Yes (Britney Spears Fantasy) give it a chance before you judge

34. Are you hungry?
no I am about to hurl from that effin Mac & Cheese

35. Where is your best friend located?
Arlingt....wait where is Shatner living?

36. Do you own a cowboy hat?
no but my Ameicanized illegal Mexican neighbors wear them with belt buckles the size of pumpkins.

37. Do you have a tan?
I am white as rice.

38. How old do you want to be when you have kids?
been there done that.

39. Do you collect anything?
expensive electronic equpiment.

40. Is this quiz annoying?
si

41. Last time you got pulled over?
who cares, my claim to local fame is being pulled over for speeding in two different counties on the SAME DAY and getting no tickets! Not even a driver diversion program. My excuse? I was traumatized over my grandma's death and was running late to her wake. I wasn't really that late.....I just like to drive fast. sorry grammy.

42. Ever been arrested?
never (juvenille records are sealed)

43. Been to Mexico for Spring Break?
why? so I can be abducted and held for ransom? I know my family they would not pay up and I would end up like Maria full of Grace swallowing ballons of heroin or illegal fireworks.

44. Do you like hot sauce?
nada

45. Last time you drove somewhere?
today

46. Do you need to do laundry?
si senor

47. How many friends do you have?
I can count my real friends on one hand, but it is a freakish hand with 13 fingers.

48. Are you someones best friend?
of course

49. Are you rich?
I'm not broke, I don't eat government cheese. I would say I am comfortably numb..

50. What are you thinking right this minute?
T NasTy (the Mad Bulletin Boarder)

Is it wrong to....

originally posted: April,1.2006

1. To secretly wish my elderly cat would die because he smells?

2. To want to reach into the tv set and slap that creepy little welchs grape juice kid?

3. To think that basketball playing autistic kid is getting "too hollywood"

4. To kill a man just to watch him die?

5. To make up stories (see number 4) to make yourself seem edgy?

In other news:

I can hardly breath because I mowed the grass today.

My Mexican neighbors widened their driveway.

My dog seems to have psorisis or a mental disorder.

My daughters bird bit me and mocked me afterwards.

I am still missing the friend I put the magenta alert out on.

I bought an Ipod nano that I don't need.

I deleted that effin myspacer "blah blah blah, shutup bitch" because her non-stop retarded bulletins.

I am holding myself responsible for the George Mason loss.

46 more questions.

originally posted: April 4, 2006



1. Song that always makes you sad?
"Popozao" - Kevin Federline

2. Last thing you bought?
Burrito Supreme

3. Last person you argued with?
My dog. the mofo thinks he owns the couch. but the bitch didn't talk back.

4. Do you put Butter before putting the peanut butter on?
who are you?

5. One of your stuffed animals names as a kid?
Teddy. and it was a bear. how original

6. Did you ever own at one time a Barenaked Ladies Cd?
oh, frick yea! I have all their shit and the itunes originals.
I feel whoever made this questionaire is not giving the BL's
the proper respect and I will find you and you'll regret your
little dig at them. you hear me? well see me...well...see my
words? oh you're an asshole hiding behind a lame myspace questionaire.

7. Favorite day of the week?
one day is no different than the next for me. But if I had to pick a day I would have to say Wednesday if only for the fine TV programing that occurs that evening.

8. Favorite Sundae topping?
Ambien

9. Did you take Piano lessons?
piano lessons? I grew up in the hood where we had to fight everyday for survival. This is emotional. My best friend (who was athleticly gifted) was shot in front of me by a rival gang...oh wait that ways "Boyz in the Hood" nope, no piano lessons.

10. Most frequently song played on your I-tunes?
"just a girl" by No doubt with "Number 1" by Goldfrapp coming in a close second.

11. T.V. show you secretly enjoy?
I make no secret of any of the programs I watch, I adore reality TV. No secrets here...oh what the fuck...Charlie Rose.

12. would you rather play basketball or hockey?
Okay I am white (or blue), female and don't want to break a nail so I choose neither.

13. Date someone older or younger?
This will piss off my husband, several of my boyfriends and that guy from the mall but I'll say older.

14. One place you could travel right now?
Our Nations Capital, that would be Washington D.C.

15. Do you use umbrellas?
rarely, why risk electrocution. Speaking of Ted Bundy...I'll take this moment to give a shout out to my nigga Ann Rule...holla!

16. Do you know all the words to the canadian national anthem?
no, but I know it includes the words: Gretsky, Moosehead and Eh?

17. Favorite Cheese
Government

18. The Smiths or the Cure?
The Cure, all the way!

19. do you prefer Blondes or Brunettes (guys too)?
Brunnettes I guess...shit I am only at number 19? I should be getting paid for this!

20. best job you ever had?
Underaged Lemonade Vendor

21. did you go to your high school prom?
No I couldn't find a sitter for the kids.

22. perfect time to wake up at?
10 am - no 11 am - no noonish

23. perfect time to go to bed?
precisely at midnightish or maybe at 3

24. do you use your queen right away in chess?
are you calling me a dyke?

25. have you been in a car accident?
I was no where near the scene and can't be charged so f*ck off wanka

26. closer to mom or dad...or neither?
:::flashback:::: coat hangers! the dreadful coat hangers!
papa can you hear me? no? oh that's right you died! thanks
for bringing up those pleasant memories Dr. Phil!

27. what age is this exciting life over for you?
I am surpassing the predictions of the "Ye Ole Biorhythm Machine" at Shakeys. It said I would be dead in the mid 90's

28. what decade during the 20th century would you have chosen to be a teenager in?
probably in the 70's because it was all about hair and fashion.

29. favorite shoes you have EVER owned?
Janzen bo-bo's. You can't go wrong with canvas.

30. do you have an article of clothing you have had since you were in high school?
My Vice Principals underwear.

31. were you in track and field?
in Junior High....but high school was err... high school. Hell, we had a smoking court. who could run with a marlboro hanging out of your mouth?

32. were you ever in a school talent show?
yes. and some little bitch who knew a few ballet steps beat us. but we got way more applause than that biatch! it was all about politics...and that was elementary school.

33. have you ever written in a library book?
Yes and I make it a point to drive to the public library and deface atleast 12 books a week to keep up the tradition.

34. allergic to?
allergy medication...isn't it ironic?

35. favorite fruit?
Tie: apples and Ryan Seacrest

36. have you watched sex and the city?
guilty.

37. baseball hat or toque?
thanks for wasting my time I had to look up "toque" on Wikpedia.org. trying to look smart? Back to the question, neither I don't want "hat hair"

38. do you shampoo first in the shower or soap?
first I make sure none of the cons are eyeing my prize. huh? err shampoo

39. wet the toothbrush or brush dry with the toothpaste?
no you lubricate it dumbass...huh? wait damn toothbrush?

40. pen or pencil?
I am noticing the questions are getting as lame as my responses. pencil.

41. have you ever gambled at a casino?
on both coasts.

42. have you thrown up on a plane?
Yes, Oceanic Flight 815 but hey I was sitting next to a guy name HURLey.

43. have you thrown up in a car?
in, on and around.

44. have you thrown up at work?
not that I know of.

45. do you scream on roller coasters?
like a banshee

46. how many times a day roughly do you go on myspace?
I gingerly sign on one or twelve hundreds times a day.

If we were judged on Google searches

originally posted: April 8, 2006

As I look at these I have one thought: WTF? My searches range from Reba McEntire to Competitive eating! These are all unedited. A great majority of searches are me trying make sure I spelled a word correctly which, as you can see I didn't. The irony of all of this is that I had to re-search some of these searches to see what the hell some of these things meant and who these people were.


Apr 5, 2006

bart simpson, graffiti, concert lighter, holding up a lighter, Iaudi 6 , smurf mushroom, smur fmushroom, smurfmushroom, smurfette mushroom, smurfette, arlington va, Larry Schwartzwald, Larry Schwartzwald., Larry Schwartzwald., James "P.J." Ransone, Nipsey Russell, Nipsy Russel, amber tamblyn poets, famous poets, funny headlines, Rascal Flatts, john Donne, wit, Reba McEntire, reba, easter quotes.

explanation: one of my favorite Myspacers penned an awesome poem so I had to spend 20 minutes finding the pefect image of hands holding up a lighter (instead of actually spending 13 seconds writing the words ""That was an awesome poem Patrick!" issue 2: I am a real gossip hound so I had to find a picture of disgraced Page Six writer Larry Schwartzwald. Why? who cares, right? apparently I did at that moment. On another gossip site I read the fascinating story about how actor Pj Ransone chased down a rapist and beat him down with a pipe. They didn't have a picture of him so naturally I spent the better part of half an hour trying to find a picture of him.

Apr 1, 2006

inappropriately, Myspace Online Now! Icons, funny headlines, matthew perry, Denise Vasi,, my fucking keys, Schleprock, flintstones characters Schleprock, flintstones characters schleprock, flintstones characters, flinstones characters, flintstones schleprock, flinstones schleprock, george mason basketball, george mason University, george mason, mobile phone unlocking software motorola, Mobile Phone Unlocking Software, blue drinks, ving Rhames, ving Rhames baby boy, ving Rhames rosewood, ving raines, ving raynes, Steve Harris, the practice, boston legalthe practice, boston legal, william shatner, william shatner tuxedo

explanation: I was all psyched up for the George Mason game obviously and made a post about it. I felt I needed to know WHO George Mason was so I did research. Did you know he signed the Declaration of independence? As it was my history I knew that the moment I threw my support to the team that they would lose (they did) I needed to find a picture of Schleprock from The Flintsone Kids to post on my blog. I also created a flash photo album for my page listing all the hot guys I dig (William Shatner, Tom Sizemore, Santiono ect.) I felt in these times I needed to be diverse so I had to find a black guy to put on the album and as you can see it came down to Ving Rhames and Steve Harris (From The Practice). I chose Ving. I was also trying to find free software to unlock the piece of crap phone I bought from a shyster eBayer.

Mar 26, 2006

1991 Honda CRX, 1991 Honda CRX., HBK, JOSH Herman, Valdir Reinoldo Bundchen., Como Construir a Si Mesmo, beck, bexk, J.D. Fortune, inxs lead singer

explanation: I guess I was looking for a used cars, info on the guy from Beauty and the Geek (a show I don't watch) and seeing what the hell a HBK was (he's a wrestler) I also did a search on Giselle Bundchen's father and the book he wrote. HUH? Don't ask me what was going on in my head that day!

Mar 23, 2006

little shop of horrors steve martin, wonder twins, Natasha Leon, Natasha Leone, Natalia Vodianova, Justin Portman

explanation: I was feeling nostalgic. Who didn't love The Wonder Twins! After that I read a story on a gossip site about Natalia Vodianova saying that said she spotted drinking vodka while she was pregnant...then for whatever I googled her husband. Is that considered stalking?

Mar 5, 2006

sony code, sony connect, coupon codes, asseenontv coupon codes, pasta express, lot 8, dentist recommend, emu, emule, internet squatters sued, internet squatters, competitive eater The Black Widow, Competitive Eater, Competetive Eater, mindy McCready, mindy McCready, santeria lyrics, southpark scientology, Toby Jones, the office

explanation: Where do I start? I am always looking to get something for nothing, so my searches are always peppered with "free" or "codes" On march 5th I was looking for free sonny song codes. I did buy the Pasta Express and I highly recommend it. I am a big fan of Sonya "The Black Widow" Thomas the competetive Eater. Yes it IS a sport. Mindy McCready is a country & western singer that is one of my and Billie's idols. Mindy's life is a country song. Google her and see you'll see!

25 pointless questions

originally posted: April 18, 2006

25 pointless questions

These are supposedly 25 questions that no one would EVER think to ask. Answer them, and then REPOST the bulletin:

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was behind you?
store security....always tryng to keep a sista down!

2. How much cash did you spend yesterday?
gas - 18 bucks / grass - Organic Salvia Divinorum ( I heard that parents are up in arms about this alternative and legal form of marijuana so I had to buy it before it was outlawed) 8.00 / Burrito Supreme and nacho's from Taco Hell 4.00

3. What's a word that rhymes with mist?
bucket.

4. Favorite planet, which you would live at, if you could?
In the words of Modest Mouse...The Third Planet. Why would I want to live on another planet when I already have a bunch of (illegal) Aliens living three houses down?


5. What is the last band shirt you wore?
Lynyrd Skynyrd (that was bedazzled to boot) Yee haw!
Steve & Barry's rocks! Where else can you buy an entire wardrobe for 50 bucks.

6. What do you think of yourself?
I think that I am witty, charming, unforgetable, intelligent,
honest, hard working, modest and a total BS Artist who would think nothing of lying on these pointless questionaires.

7. Name the brand of your shoes you're currently wearing?
Blue Suede Converse John Varvatos slip on's - yes I am even too lazy to tie shoes.

8. Night light or pitch black?
can't sleep without background noise. The TV is my nightlight.

9. What do you think about the (previous) person who took this survey?
She is one SICKBITCH.

10. If you could kiss anyone in the world who would it be?
Keifer Sutherland...provided we use a dental dam.

11. What were you doing at midnight last night?
watching my soaps on Tivo.

12. What's something that you say a lot?
If my Aunt had balls she'd be my uncle.

13. Last furry thing you touched?
Bea Arthurs back....kidding! My Dog Sammy.

14. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed?
Film?
I have some old 110 film in a drawer for high school but I am not sure whats on it. you know...sins of the past and what not.

15. Favorite age you have been so far?
10

16. What was the last thing you said to someone?
"you senile old cat when are you going to die?"

17. How do you like your eggs?
fertilized

18. Do you like someone?
umm...like I am totally over 13 so I refuse to answer this one.

19. Last song you listened to?
All These Things That I've Done - The Killers (want to hear it? go to
my site)

20. What time is it?
9:20 pm EST

21. What's around you?
Bills, Remotes, brush, water, easter candy, medication, a scripto lighter, lotion, candles phone....this is gonna take too long.

22. What are you wearing?
fuck off perv.

23. What did you do yesterday?
worked, shopped, did errands and uhh the rest is sketchy but I remembering waking this morning up in a motel 6 face down in a pool of my own vomit. ok ok the last part was bullshit.

24. Last bed you sat on?
a microbe infested Motel 6 bed with 6 Asian business men...okay more BS....I sat on my own microbe infested bed.

25. What should you be doing?
Taking a shower I reek of cut grass...I had to mow the lawn today... like a goddamn commoner!


I am adding a question to this quiz:

26. What is your overall opinion of this questionaire?
underwhelming.

Stupid fucking anorexic imbeciles

originally posted: 5/13/2006

OK this is officially a rant and it will probably be an unpopular one. Frankly I don't care.

Below you will see a bulletin from someone on my friend list and it repulsed me so much I had to make a entry about it. I can't bring myself to feel sorry for these self-involved drama queens. They KNOW they will die so what gives? What posseses a person to starve themself. You don't see this shit going on at this proportion in other countries, right? Maybe, but I am not going to the research. Instead of having special rehab centers for these girls (and guys) who most likely go at the behest of their parents and usually revert to their old ways, I think they should be sent to a place that has actual famine like Malawi. But no they make it through rehab and log on the internet where they can pal up with the other misfits on the internet who call themselves "Pro-Ana's". They have Pro-Ana sites on Myspace.com. Oh I wish Microsoft comes out with a virtual smack program.


Here is what has me up in arms:

From: Zaraphel
Date: May 12, 2006 10:41 PM

Totally disturbing and utterly disgusting!
you'll be dead before your thin enough.













































Girls:

Stop calling each other fat.

People take that seriously.

And this is what can happen!!



Guys:

You call a girl fat.

You tell her to loose some weight.

But is this attractive to you?

I didnt think so.



SO THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK.

Message for the myspace kids

originally posted: June 11, 2006

My message goes out to mainly the 12 to 17 year old age group of the Myspace society.

You are young now without a care in the world and that is great right? sorta.

The funny thing about the internet is sometimes your words come back to haunt you. Proclaiming that you are a proud slut and your hobbies include "body shots", "handies" and tagging may prevent you from getting into the college or trade school you have your sites set on.

Here are some other suggestions:


If you are an outsider, an anarchist or a bully victim I cannot stress enough how important it is NOT to write in your blog about how cool it would be to blow up your school. Why not you ask? Because that would make you a dumbass and you know that the popular kids/bullies are reading your rambling words and are lying in wait to fire off your post to the 300 buddies on their friends list. And keep in mind that kids who who commit those crimes are usually sent to adult prisons and I can assure you that you will be VERY POPULAR in there.

If you are remotely attractive putting your first and last name is never a good idea. Have any of you watched Dateline? You may think that posting a picture of yourself in a bikini of shirtless is cute...but most people find that sluttly and well we all know how the middle/high school rumor mill works....I do, I started so many rumors myself...usually about myself....anyway that is beside the point. Try to keep your self portraits tasteful...better yet be mysterious. Make people pay for yout shots....wait wait...no wait til your 18 to do that.


Whatever....I'm just trying to help the myspace children....because as Pat Benetar says "Hell is for Children"



oh yeah....your welcome.