Reality (TV) Overload!

originally posted: January 21, 2006 - Saturday

You may have noticed thant I have am someone enamored with my Tivo's, (yes I said Tivo's)!

I need two to keep up with my favorite programs.It's not as bad as it looks though, the beauty of Tivo
is that you can scan through all the bullshit commericials and watch an hour show in less than 40 minutes.

Below is my weekly TV schedule:


24
Soaps
American Idol
America's Next Top Model - reruns
Breaking Bonaduce
Celebrity Fit Club
Cops
Dirty Jobs
Everyday Italian
House Hunters
Iron Chef
Iron Chef America
Judge Alex
Judge Judy
Lost
My Sweet Sixteen
Paula's Home Cooking

Project Runway
Smalls space Big Style
SNL
The Girlmore Girls
The Real World
The Surreal Life



I'm sure there are more but at this point I am feeling slightly embarassed that I am such an addict.

I think I should take up something more productive like becoming a Bag Chaser and create a Powder Point Presentation. Ok Ok I just wanted to see if I could work in a few slang references for hillbilly herion, meth,Hydro Hypes; Ice, Ice Cream. Icee, Ish, Izice, Jab,Shiznit, Shiznitty, Shizzo, Shnizzie Snort, Shwack, Skeech, Sketch, Ski, Skitz, Sky Rocks, Sliggers, Smiley Smile, Smurf Dope, Smzl, Snaps, Sniff, Space Food, Spaceman, Spagack, Sparacked, Sparked, Sparkle, Speed Racer, Spin, Spin, Spin, Spinack, Spindarella, Spinney Boo, Spinning, Spishak, Spook, Sprack.

There is so more. remember kids:

When it comes to Drugs and especially TIVO! I leave the following message inspired by former First Lady Nancy Reagan:







.

Is it wrong to....

originally posted: April,1.2006

1. To secretly wish my elderly cat would die because he smells?

2. To want to reach into the tv set and slap that creepy little welchs grape juice kid?

3. To think that basketball playing autistic kid is getting "too hollywood"

4. To kill a man just to watch him die?

5. To make up stories (see number 4) to make yourself seem edgy?

In other news:

I can hardly breath because I mowed the grass today.

My Mexican neighbors widened their driveway.

My dog seems to have psorisis or a mental disorder.

My daughters bird bit me and mocked me afterwards.

I am still missing the friend I put the magenta alert out on.

I bought an Ipod nano that I don't need.

I deleted that effin myspacer "blah blah blah, shutup bitch" because her non-stop retarded bulletins.

I am holding myself responsible for the George Mason loss.

If we were judged on Google searches

originally posted: April 8, 2006

As I look at these I have one thought: WTF? My searches range from Reba McEntire to Competitive eating! These are all unedited. A great majority of searches are me trying make sure I spelled a word correctly which, as you can see I didn't. The irony of all of this is that I had to re-search some of these searches to see what the hell some of these things meant and who these people were.


Apr 5, 2006

bart simpson, graffiti, concert lighter, holding up a lighter, Iaudi 6 , smurf mushroom, smur fmushroom, smurfmushroom, smurfette mushroom, smurfette, arlington va, Larry Schwartzwald, Larry Schwartzwald., Larry Schwartzwald., James "P.J." Ransone, Nipsey Russell, Nipsy Russel, amber tamblyn poets, famous poets, funny headlines, Rascal Flatts, john Donne, wit, Reba McEntire, reba, easter quotes.

explanation: one of my favorite Myspacers penned an awesome poem so I had to spend 20 minutes finding the pefect image of hands holding up a lighter (instead of actually spending 13 seconds writing the words ""That was an awesome poem Patrick!" issue 2: I am a real gossip hound so I had to find a picture of disgraced Page Six writer Larry Schwartzwald. Why? who cares, right? apparently I did at that moment. On another gossip site I read the fascinating story about how actor Pj Ransone chased down a rapist and beat him down with a pipe. They didn't have a picture of him so naturally I spent the better part of half an hour trying to find a picture of him.

Apr 1, 2006

inappropriately, Myspace Online Now! Icons, funny headlines, matthew perry, Denise Vasi,, my fucking keys, Schleprock, flintstones characters Schleprock, flintstones characters schleprock, flintstones characters, flinstones characters, flintstones schleprock, flinstones schleprock, george mason basketball, george mason University, george mason, mobile phone unlocking software motorola, Mobile Phone Unlocking Software, blue drinks, ving Rhames, ving Rhames baby boy, ving Rhames rosewood, ving raines, ving raynes, Steve Harris, the practice, boston legalthe practice, boston legal, william shatner, william shatner tuxedo

explanation: I was all psyched up for the George Mason game obviously and made a post about it. I felt I needed to know WHO George Mason was so I did research. Did you know he signed the Declaration of independence? As it was my history I knew that the moment I threw my support to the team that they would lose (they did) I needed to find a picture of Schleprock from The Flintsone Kids to post on my blog. I also created a flash photo album for my page listing all the hot guys I dig (William Shatner, Tom Sizemore, Santiono ect.) I felt in these times I needed to be diverse so I had to find a black guy to put on the album and as you can see it came down to Ving Rhames and Steve Harris (From The Practice). I chose Ving. I was also trying to find free software to unlock the piece of crap phone I bought from a shyster eBayer.

Mar 26, 2006

1991 Honda CRX, 1991 Honda CRX., HBK, JOSH Herman, Valdir Reinoldo Bundchen., Como Construir a Si Mesmo, beck, bexk, J.D. Fortune, inxs lead singer

explanation: I guess I was looking for a used cars, info on the guy from Beauty and the Geek (a show I don't watch) and seeing what the hell a HBK was (he's a wrestler) I also did a search on Giselle Bundchen's father and the book he wrote. HUH? Don't ask me what was going on in my head that day!

Mar 23, 2006

little shop of horrors steve martin, wonder twins, Natasha Leon, Natasha Leone, Natalia Vodianova, Justin Portman

explanation: I was feeling nostalgic. Who didn't love The Wonder Twins! After that I read a story on a gossip site about Natalia Vodianova saying that said she spotted drinking vodka while she was pregnant...then for whatever I googled her husband. Is that considered stalking?

Mar 5, 2006

sony code, sony connect, coupon codes, asseenontv coupon codes, pasta express, lot 8, dentist recommend, emu, emule, internet squatters sued, internet squatters, competitive eater The Black Widow, Competitive Eater, Competetive Eater, mindy McCready, mindy McCready, santeria lyrics, southpark scientology, Toby Jones, the office

explanation: Where do I start? I am always looking to get something for nothing, so my searches are always peppered with "free" or "codes" On march 5th I was looking for free sonny song codes. I did buy the Pasta Express and I highly recommend it. I am a big fan of Sonya "The Black Widow" Thomas the competetive Eater. Yes it IS a sport. Mindy McCready is a country & western singer that is one of my and Billie's idols. Mindy's life is a country song. Google her and see you'll see!

25 pointless questions

originally posted: April 18, 2006

25 pointless questions

These are supposedly 25 questions that no one would EVER think to ask. Answer them, and then REPOST the bulletin:

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was behind you?
store security....always tryng to keep a sista down!

2. How much cash did you spend yesterday?
gas - 18 bucks / grass - Organic Salvia Divinorum ( I heard that parents are up in arms about this alternative and legal form of marijuana so I had to buy it before it was outlawed) 8.00 / Burrito Supreme and nacho's from Taco Hell 4.00

3. What's a word that rhymes with mist?
bucket.

4. Favorite planet, which you would live at, if you could?
In the words of Modest Mouse...The Third Planet. Why would I want to live on another planet when I already have a bunch of (illegal) Aliens living three houses down?


5. What is the last band shirt you wore?
Lynyrd Skynyrd (that was bedazzled to boot) Yee haw!
Steve & Barry's rocks! Where else can you buy an entire wardrobe for 50 bucks.

6. What do you think of yourself?
I think that I am witty, charming, unforgetable, intelligent,
honest, hard working, modest and a total BS Artist who would think nothing of lying on these pointless questionaires.

7. Name the brand of your shoes you're currently wearing?
Blue Suede Converse John Varvatos slip on's - yes I am even too lazy to tie shoes.

8. Night light or pitch black?
can't sleep without background noise. The TV is my nightlight.

9. What do you think about the (previous) person who took this survey?
She is one SICKBITCH.

10. If you could kiss anyone in the world who would it be?
Keifer Sutherland...provided we use a dental dam.

11. What were you doing at midnight last night?
watching my soaps on Tivo.

12. What's something that you say a lot?
If my Aunt had balls she'd be my uncle.

13. Last furry thing you touched?
Bea Arthurs back....kidding! My Dog Sammy.

14. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed?
Film?
I have some old 110 film in a drawer for high school but I am not sure whats on it. you know...sins of the past and what not.

15. Favorite age you have been so far?
10

16. What was the last thing you said to someone?
"you senile old cat when are you going to die?"

17. How do you like your eggs?
fertilized

18. Do you like someone?
umm...like I am totally over 13 so I refuse to answer this one.

19. Last song you listened to?
All These Things That I've Done - The Killers (want to hear it? go to
my site)

20. What time is it?
9:20 pm EST

21. What's around you?
Bills, Remotes, brush, water, easter candy, medication, a scripto lighter, lotion, candles phone....this is gonna take too long.

22. What are you wearing?
fuck off perv.

23. What did you do yesterday?
worked, shopped, did errands and uhh the rest is sketchy but I remembering waking this morning up in a motel 6 face down in a pool of my own vomit. ok ok the last part was bullshit.

24. Last bed you sat on?
a microbe infested Motel 6 bed with 6 Asian business men...okay more BS....I sat on my own microbe infested bed.

25. What should you be doing?
Taking a shower I reek of cut grass...I had to mow the lawn today... like a goddamn commoner!


I am adding a question to this quiz:

26. What is your overall opinion of this questionaire?
underwhelming.

Get to know me even more.

originally posted: June 24, 2006

1) How old do you wish you were?
about 24 when I has a really tight bod from karate

2) Where were you when 9/11 happened?
at home...way too close to the action

3) What do you do when vending machines steal your money?
shake rattle & roll...oh yea and curse like a sailor.

4) Do you consider yourself kind?
a veritable saint I would say. but I have always been called a sinner.

5) If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?
it would be prominently displayed on my neck, it would read "FU MOFO" <--- there is a story behind that.

6) If you could be fluent in any other language?
Spanish and Vietnamese so I could find out what
my neighbors and my manicurists are saying about
me in FRONT of my face. So rude. But I am so self
involved I am assuming that I am the topic of every
discussion. Yeah, they are talking about me.

7) Do you know your neighbors?
no and I don't want to. I might as well be a serial killer
because I definitely like to "keep to myself" I hate small talk and BBQ's. I end up saying something offensive because I have been on the internet so long nothing is taboo. I mean, really, my 68 year old neighbor wouldn't possibly comprehend goatse

8) What do you consider a vacation?
a refill.

9) Do you follow your horoscope?
not at all. Anyone who seriously believes in that crap has issues. But yes occasionally I read them but in my opinion "The Magic 8-Ball" is way more accurate.

10) Would you move for the person you loved?
ummm...move out of my chair or move out of the way sure but I hate packing so they will have to move along and find someone more flexible.

11) Are you touchy feely?
Oh Heavens No!

12) Do you believe that opposites attract?
I believe I can Fly, I believe I can touch the sky.

13) Dream job?
My dream would be not to have any jobs. But if I must choose I'd say a caretaker for an wealthy elderly gentleman (with no meddling kids) whose knocking on heavens door....oh yes and he must be able to hold a pen in his hand.

14) Favorite channel?
HGTV and VH1 and the gay channel Bravo

15) Favorite place to go on the wknds?
stay home...fuck driving with all those lunatics and gangbangers out there

16) Showers or Baths?
must a choose....I like my aromatic B.O. funk. rain showers

17) Do you paint your nails?
No that gossipy Vietnamese bitch that from no. 6 does them. She's talking about me and I tip this bitch...that's rich.

18) Do you trust people easily?
no rarely. I have read enough true crime books and watched enough Judge Judy etal. that I don't even trust myself.


19) What are your Phobias?
spiders, storms.heights and uncircumcized...things.

20.) Do you want kids?
no more..all though I may adopt some street kids for
the summer...someone needs to mow the lawn.

21) Do you keep a handwritten journal?
Yeah right that is all I need "Exhibit A-342 for the court labeled "The Journals" no thanks.

22) Where would you rather be right now?
incoherent

23) What makes you feel warm and fuzzy?
sappy commercials. Get me everytime.

24) Heavy or light sleeper?
light

25) Are you paranoid?
Is Al Gore a boring blowhard?

26) Are you impatient?
ALWAYS

28) How do you feel about interracial couples?
this is 2007 who cares? (err I mean 2006)

29) Have you been burned by love?
Yes. but my nickname was the "Human Flame Thrower"
so I may mave been singed but there are a few guys
who have voodoo dolls in my likeness. P*ssys

30) What's your favorite pick up line?
no pick up line just a simple statement (to a coworker bringing in his wife or girl in for the first time) that's funny: "Wow, you got a new girlfriend...I didn't like the girl you had in here yesterday she was A BITCH"

31) What's your main ring tone on your mobile?
Clint Eastwood by the Gorrilaz

32) What were you doing at midnight last night?
lets see...I was scared....there was an awful storm.

33) What did the last text on your cell phone say?
confirmation plans for dinner in Springfield on Monday.

34) Whose bed did you sleep in last night?
funny you should ask...I fell asleep in the tub and then my husband then woke me up from a perfectly comfy sleep to drag me in bed, atleast I think it was my hubby....and my tub....and my house.

35) What color shirt are you wearing?
generic cotton tee.

36) Most recent movie you watched?
Sid and Nancy. Can't get enough of that

37) Name three things you have on you at all times?
ipod, palm pilot, cell phone (nerd nerd nerd)

38.) What color are your bed sheets?
floral pattern

39) How much cash do you have on you right now?
about 70 and change

40) What is your favorite part of the chicken?
entrails....and for personal reasons I'd rather not go into right now.

41) What's your favorite town/city?
L'Enfant Plaza in DC ...great shops and snobby gays,
you gotta love it.

42) I can't wait till:
this fucking quiz is over, what is this "War and Peace"?

43) Who got you to join MySpace?
I joined because all the cool kids were doing it. No, I had other motives...spying on friends and family.

44) What did you have for dinner last night
Queen Victoria Filet, sweet potato and coconut shrimp
for my birthday dinner at the Outback steakhouse and the lame employees sang me happy birthday...even though I requested this I pretended that I was slightly embarassed.

45) How tall are you barefoot?
5 foot whatever you stalker! How big is your schlong? huh? huh? no answer? I thought so. tables turned. score one for Nat

46) Have you ever smoked heroin?
No. I'd like to keep my teeth and possessions

47) Do you own a gun?
Yes a purty black .44 special

48) What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
water or agua

49) What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
my cunning wit and ability to make them think they can't get anyone better. and a little GHB in the drink helps.

50) Do you have A.D.D.?
probably I am planning on looking up the symptons more carefully so I can complain to my doctor that I have it so I can get that Lindsay Lohan med Adderal

51) What time did you wake up today?
about 8am

52) Current worry?
getting the convertible inspected, those goddamn grifter mechanics see a lady and think it's payday.

53) Current hate?
where to start? illegal aliens taking the jobs I don't want. Hollywood liberals, lawn chairs, traffic, snobby foreigners, working, car payments, unresponsible teens. ect ect ect

54) Favorite place to be?
In the backyard reading the tabs

55) Where would you like to travel?
Within the USA, fuck those foreigners they all hate us so why bother wasting the money on airfare. I could easily recreate the experience at McDonalds by having a mexican spit on my burger than dropping a few
grand to go to Paris and have them piss in my soup.

56) What do you think you'll be in 10 yrs?
hopefully out of Virginia...I swear I think it takes a Government pardon to be released.

57) Last thing you ate?
a 4 dollar hotdog from Wolftrap. (not woth it.....at all)

58) What songs do you sing in the shower?
Sister Sledge, Stones. Rob base, Slick Rick, Bowie. Sinatra, Sir Mix Alot whateva

59) Last thing that made you laugh?
an awful singer in Lord of the Dance. Her voice was so HIGH it made small babies in the audience cry. seriously.

60) Worst injury you've ever had?
unexplained seizure probably from Vioxx....I need to jump on that legal banwagon I have neurology reports to prove it....did Cochran die? He seemed like a bitchin' lawyer all crooked and preacher-like.

61) Does someone have a crush on you?
I can only imagine the amount of myspacers who are mesmerized by the hue of my blue skin.

62) What's your favorite candy?
skittles, but the rainbow taste like shit

63) What song do you want played at your funeral?
the last song on my playlist "I did it My Way" By Frank Sinatra although I wish he made a song " I did it mostly my way" anyway, that's the song and it's in my living will so if they don't play it I will haunt them.



word.

I'm just a patriotic mess.

originally posted: July 7, 2006



Ok, so it all starts innocently enough.



As per my daily routine I read my gossip sites starting with
The New York Post Page Six. I prefer nonsense news over actual news because it's less depressing. The lead article that day was about George (douche) Clooney's former agent who hightailed it out of Hollywood to film the documentary "Young Americans" about U.S. Marines fighting insurgents in Iraq (read about it here) My heart starts pumping red, white and blue and I immediately go to Pat Dollard's site and view clips of his documentary:





After viewing the clips I am so impressed I donate money to offset his production costs...oh yeah I also buy the CD "Blood for Blood Outlaw Anthems" that is featured in the documentary. Okay. I get a nice email from Pat Dollard thanking me for the donation. It should have stopped there. But I never do anything in moderation. I immediately join two more patriotic organizations which I commended myself for. The third time is the charm so I go one step further and adopt a soldier! I made sure it was someone who lives far away from me because the last thing I need is some shell shocked veteran knocking on my door looking for his new "Mommy". I chose a soldier from Minnesota, In my vivid imagination he is somehow related to music idol Prince, but he is taller and has beard stubble...anyway I digress. I made sure my soldier was on the front lines and not some pampered pretty boy wasting time in Biloxi Mississippi. Hell, if I am shelling out money I want an authentic G.I. Joe or in this case G.I. Joshua. So I chose about 60 dollars worth of stuff off of his gift list. Being patriotic is a pain in my ass and my pocket. I wonder if Joshua will appreciate my gifts? I wonder if there really is a Joshua? Who is to say that this isn't some scam created by some ex-convict in order to get my credit card information, create new accounts in my name and screw up my credit? Shit now I have to go and check my credit report!

I know these donations will get the Republican National Party on my back again!

Damn! Why was I born with a heart? I am such a mark.

Updates and Observations

originally posted: October 13, 2006


Updates and Observations


I am finding myself less interested in TV these days and this worries me. In this past I planned my schedule around it. The only shows I watch are Project Runway, Dancing with the 'tards, Lost, and House Hunters



Speaking of House Hunters (a show hosted by Suzanne Whang on HGTV) It is a show I love to hate. I watch these people (tastefully dress yuppies) looking at 600k houses and I pray that they go into foreclosure. "oh Kitty these tile counter tops are hideous we must replace them with granite!"

Because of a medical crisis I am no longer working and I am bored to death. Careful what you wish for, you may get it...well I guess it beats working. huh? whatever.



That soldier that I "adopted" (see this post ) hasn't even written a thank you note! I know that he is in combat put puh-lease! I am no mere citizen, I could have been his sugar-momma.



I no longer answer my phone because of solicitors and political ball busters. My advice? NEVER register with any political party it's like getting tele-herpes they pop up and irritate you every few months. It has gotten so bad that I have changed my outgoing message to French to confuse the hell out of them.


I noticed this evening that Sam Sugar deleted me from his friends list, I have never met this person and never will and I won't say I am offended but still..
I think he is very talented and he will remain on my top ten list because he is
superfine, totally rad and groovy. He is playing hard to get....just like K-Fed.


I am not as smart as I think. I just realized that the other day. There is no denying that I am clever, even Sam Sugar will agree with that, but as of late I am lacking in basic logic skills. I imagine it comes from growing up in a toxic neighborhood, and not that innumerable toxic substances that I voluntarily took during my high school years.


My daughter has relinquished custody of her Quaker parrot to me and he is already become as belligerent and egomaniacal as me. He (or she) curses, bites and
is generally very rude. Under my tutelage I have taught this bird to say my name, curse and bounce his head like he jez don't care. He is diggin the new K-Fed tune
"Privilege". I want to change his name to Andrew Jackson or Cha-Cha
because "Mr. Nibbles" is so gay.

FORTY QUESTIONS YOU'VE NEVER BEEN ASKED IN A SURVEY

originally posted: 4-27-07

FORTY QUESTIONS YOU'VE NEVER BEEN ASKED IN A SURVEY

1. Do you know anyone in prison?
no

2. Have you ever logged onto a boyfriend/girlfriend/crush's myspace?
no, I'm grown.

3. When is the last time you ate peanut butter and jelly?
about a week ago

4. Do you have a desk in your room?
yes...two of them

5. Have you ever gotten naked at a party?
not intentionally

6. What kind of car insurance do you have?
I use Allstate. after, all former President David
Palmer from 24 recommends it.

7. Are you named after one of your parents or grandparents?
no, I like to say I am named after the only wood that
doesn't float.

8. Does your first significant other still live in the same town as you?
yes

9. Do you throw up gang signs?
lets see....I am a white girl living in a town
with about 40some gangs? hell to the no.

10. Have you ever broken a rib?
my own? no.

11. Would you rather be a girl or a guy?
this is a stupid quiz.

12. Who is the most spoiled person you know?
Besides myself? one of my nieces I won't name names but
she is so charming she can get away with it

13. Would you rather have a million dollars or true love?
hmmm let me ponder this...money

14. Have you ever had sex in church?
I was three years old and it wasn't consensual...
he said I was pressuring him. (kidding)

15. Is your boyfriend/girlfriend a marine??
no

16. Do you watch the Grammy's?
No, Grammy died many years ago she had
the old-timers disease.

17. Would you ever work for the border patrol?
Hell to the no. I prefer to hide behind my computer and
complain.

18. Which one word would describe your last relationship:
ongoing

19. Would you rather date someone 2 years older then you or 20 years older then you?
20 years, provided that they have a hefty insurance policy and have me listed as the beneficiary.

20. Have you ever had a eating disorder?
no and I don't understand the Karen Carpenters and Nicole Richies of the world and have a hard time drumming up sympathy for these drama queens. If you want to die, die.

21. Do you have a porn collection?
yes. Reality Porn: the Tom Sizemore video, a
2 part series XXX skank fest/ girls gone wild rip off
I won't even mention the contents.

22. How many proms have you been to in your life?
Zero.

23. Have you ever been in a inter-racial relationship?
I had a Peruvian boyfriend when I was a teenager...who failed
to mention he had a wife and a couple of kids...

24. Is your birthday on a holiday?
The birth of Natalie is a holiday in itself.

25. Are you old enough to vote?
Yes

26. Do you have any friends or family in the War right now???
Well there was that soldier that I adopted and sent a
care package to but since he didn't write a thank you
note to me, he is no longer in my world. A war is NO excuse for a lack of proper etiquette.

28. Do you worry about global warming?
I am sure I will be dead by the time Antarctica
turns into a tropical inferno so...not so much.

29. Do you like polar bears?
I did until that stupid baby Polar Bear Knut became
such a media whore.

30. Have you ever been cheated on?
who hasn't?

31. What kind of birth control do you use?
What kind of birth control do you use?

32. What slang word(s) do you call marijuana?
weed, pot, M.J. yes I remember the 80's

33. Are you an atheist?
I hate that word. Believing in nothing is still believing in something.

34. Did you lose your virginity to your neighbor?
Oh heavens no...

35. Did or do you think your childhood dreams will come true?
My childhood dream was to be an Astronomer because it seemed like an easy job. I am not working now, BUT I have hours to devote to TV and daydreaming about Homosexual rap star DEADLEE so I think things worked out great.

36. Do you wear your sweetie's clothes?
No.

37. What's your opinion on gold diggers?
gold digger? your soaking in it!

38. Are you a country or city girl/boy?
I am not a country girl.

39. Is your car a 2002 or higher?
a 2006, a 1991 and a 1986. and not to brag I also have
a push lawn mower AND a riding lawn mower. Holla.

40. Do you floss daily?
Oh heavens no






.·´¸.·´¨) ¸.·*¨)
(¸.·´ (¸.·´ ¸.·´
¸.·´¸.·*`·-» Geminat...
(¸.·

Is it boredom or immaturity?

After spending the better part of my twenties dancing with Lady Bankruptcy, I am pleased that my credit is now pretty decent. I am getting pre-approved credit card offers on a near weekly basis. The key is not to accept these lines of credit..anyway So I had a little collection of sample credit cards. They're bogus cards (but authentic looking) that are imprinted with card no. 1234-56-7890 and YOUR NAME HERE. They are even made of plastic. I guess a mature person would throw them away, but not me! I thought it would be a better idea to throw them out of my car window at one block intervals in my 'hood. I don't know, I kind of like the idea of somebody thinking they found a platinum credit card and then realizing it's a fake.

Immature? hmmmm....yes. Regrets? hmmm...yes.

I regret not being able to see the look on their faces when they pick up Mrs. Your Name Here's card.