Ignorance is Bliss (Thanks toTivo)

originally posted: November 20, 2005 - Sunday

Ever since I have become a part of the Tivo culture I have become retarded when it comes to global events be it world, regional or local. I know nothing. And why should I when I can watch America's Next Top Model, Breaking Bonaduche or House Hunters commercial-free?

The only time I do watch anything that resembles a news program is when Tivo records it for me based on their recommendations or if say there is a MTV news break in between Real World Austin.

The only time I read the newspaper is at work and I usually go straight to the entertainment section, and then it is off to the crime beat to see if any of my old high school friends have been arrested and then to the Obituaries to see if anyone I know has died. Inevitably I get stuck in a conversation with someone who mentions the devastation in (insert war-torn country here) I just nod along that it is awful and say something to the effect of "Yes I heard, that's so terrible" in a "tsk tsk" sort of way but what I really mean is.... "There was a flood?? When??" or “There's a War? I thought that ended in ' 04?”

I really should pick up a newspaper or watch the news every millennium or so. But if I did that I would miss the Gilmore Girls marathon on ABC Family Channel and that would blow.

This post was not sponsored by: http://www.tivo.com

50 of the most random questions ever

originally posted: March 27, 2006

50 of the most random questions ever:

1. Where were you 1 hour ago?
making/burning Mac & cheese

2. When is the last time you filled up your gas tank?
yesterday

3. What is the most amount of money you spent in one store?
Over 3000. for a stupid gigantic TV I don't ever get to watch

4. Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
of course

5. When is the last time you went to the mall?
about a month ago

6. Are you wearing socks right now?
yes

7. Do you have a car worth over $5,000?
yes

8. When was the last time you drove out of town?
a couple of years ago for a wedding

9. Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days?
No

10. Are you popular?
I'm the most famous person you've never heard of.

11. What was the last thing you had to drink?
Black Cherry Vanilla Coke

12. What was the last thing you mailed in the mail?
Netflix (I am boycotting Blockbuster)

13. Do you wash your car?
Hardly ever

14. Last fast food you ate?
burnt Mac & Cheese

15. Where were you last week today?
what is this, a fucking interigation?

16. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?
yes

7. What bank do you use?
hello? Identity theft??? bite me

18. Do you own any land?
yes (the land my house sits on)

19. What do you want to be when you "grow up"?
Super Fly Cracker The Female Pimp

20. Your dream vacation?
Tahiti

21. Last boat ride you went on?
cruise in 99 or 2000 I forget

23. Are you in love?
everyday I look in the mirror

24. Do you have any single friends?
yes

25. Last play you saw?
"Movin' Out" but I preferred "Mama Mia"

26. Have you been to New York?
NO

27. What are your plans for tonight?
finishing this list goddamn it's taking forever

28.Last concert you went to?
I hate crowds. Concerts are for teens

29. Next trip you are going to take?
Where does Shatner live?

30. Ever go to camp?
no my mom was too cheap, which is for the best most camp kids were molested.

31. Were you an honor roll student in school?
"if Natalie spent as much time with her studies as she does entertaining the class she would pass World history" I guess that would make it a No.

32. What is your current GPA?
German Propaganda Archive?? What is this Nazi shit? back to the questions

33. Are you wearing any perfume or cologne?
Yes (Britney Spears Fantasy) give it a chance before you judge

34. Are you hungry?
no I am about to hurl from that effin Mac & Cheese

35. Where is your best friend located?
Arlingt....wait where is Shatner living?

36. Do you own a cowboy hat?
no but my Ameicanized illegal Mexican neighbors wear them with belt buckles the size of pumpkins.

37. Do you have a tan?
I am white as rice.

38. How old do you want to be when you have kids?
been there done that.

39. Do you collect anything?
expensive electronic equpiment.

40. Is this quiz annoying?
si

41. Last time you got pulled over?
who cares, my claim to local fame is being pulled over for speeding in two different counties on the SAME DAY and getting no tickets! Not even a driver diversion program. My excuse? I was traumatized over my grandma's death and was running late to her wake. I wasn't really that late.....I just like to drive fast. sorry grammy.

42. Ever been arrested?
never (juvenille records are sealed)

43. Been to Mexico for Spring Break?
why? so I can be abducted and held for ransom? I know my family they would not pay up and I would end up like Maria full of Grace swallowing ballons of heroin or illegal fireworks.

44. Do you like hot sauce?
nada

45. Last time you drove somewhere?
today

46. Do you need to do laundry?
si senor

47. How many friends do you have?
I can count my real friends on one hand, but it is a freakish hand with 13 fingers.

48. Are you someones best friend?
of course

49. Are you rich?
I'm not broke, I don't eat government cheese. I would say I am comfortably numb..

50. What are you thinking right this minute?
T NasTy (the Mad Bulletin Boarder)

Is it wrong to....

originally posted: April,1.2006

1. To secretly wish my elderly cat would die because he smells?

2. To want to reach into the tv set and slap that creepy little welchs grape juice kid?

3. To think that basketball playing autistic kid is getting "too hollywood"

4. To kill a man just to watch him die?

5. To make up stories (see number 4) to make yourself seem edgy?

In other news:

I can hardly breath because I mowed the grass today.

My Mexican neighbors widened their driveway.

My dog seems to have psorisis or a mental disorder.

My daughters bird bit me and mocked me afterwards.

I am still missing the friend I put the magenta alert out on.

I bought an Ipod nano that I don't need.

I deleted that effin myspacer "blah blah blah, shutup bitch" because her non-stop retarded bulletins.

I am holding myself responsible for the George Mason loss.